The Unofficial Eternal Lands Database
Client version 1.9.6

NPC: Fat Lou

Location: Grubani Peninsula

Coordinates: 38, 99

A hungry man trying to get bananas out of a tall tree when he is supposed to be making a ship for Raenoben.

Fat Lou

Speak the Words

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Due to multiple options when speaking, text below may not be in comprehensive order.

*As you come around the corner you study the archery range, nearby there is a big, fat, sweaty guy looking up into a tree and shaking it. A collision is imminent sEL-DB.comince neither of you see the other. You bounce off his large belly and go sprawling to the ground* Hey! *The big tub of lard exclaims* Watch where I'm walkin' hea!

Who the hell are you?
Who the hell am I? Who the hell are you that you don't know Fat Lou Opreno?

You stepped on my foot.
You put it under mine!

Seriously? Fat Lou?
Waddaya, hard of hearin' AND stupid? Yeah, they call me Fat Lou. *He grabs his gut and jiggles it* I dunno why.

What are you doing?
*He looks up into the tree and sighs* I was hungry and I saw some bananas up in this tree hea'. I'm tryin' to shake 'em down. I tried to get Raenoben to go up there and get 'em for me, but she said that I am paying her to build a ship not climb trees.

Yea, that sassy little elf who runs the ship yard. Have you seen that little thing yet? I could floss with her. Hard to believe she can build ships, but they say she's the best, and if it's one thing Fat Lou's gotta have, it's the best. She keeps askin' for strippers. I can't blame her for wanting to have strippers around all the time. I think when I'm running my ship I'll have some strippers around me too.

Build a ship
Whaddaya, a parrot? Yes build a ship, ya' know...a boat? Sailing vessel? Sheesh, don't take this the wrong way kid but I am startin' to think ya might be a few extracts short of a mixture. I want a boat, Raenoben builds boats. I commissioned it months ago and I'm here for a lil' inspection tour.

Why else would I be in this Mortos-forsaken part of the continent? *He swipes a hand over his sweaty face and scowls.* It's like an oven down hea'. It's takin' forever to build this friggin' ship. I wanted iEL-DB.comt months ago. All Raenoben keeps talking about is how many people it takes to build a good ship and how it's hard to find people to do all the jobs that need doin'. I don't want excuses, I want my damn ship!

And then I gotta be surrounded by these stinkin' excuses for people all day. Do ya think that a man as classy as Fat Lou wants to be around scum like them?

You refer to yourself in 3rd person?
Shaddup ya wise guy. *He cracks his knuckles and you sense you may have gone too far*

Ya ya those damn orchans. They smell pretty ripe if ya ask me. Shame this prime real estate is inhabited by that dirty race.

Ya - ruined the whole area, they did, just by bein' hea'. Now that they've settled in, they've built their grass houses, if you can believe it. They live like animals.

Hey wait! *You hear him shout as you walk away* Get up in this tree and get me those damn bananas, I'm starving hea! *You pretend not to hear him and keep walking*