The Unofficial Eternal Lands Database
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NPC: Mario

Location: Tarsengaard TG Magic School Entrance Hall East Private Area Hall Apprentice Chambers 1

Coordinates: 217, 315

Worker at the Tarsengaard Magic School, upset at having to do janitorial duties because all the janitors are focused too heavily on working in the sewer.


Speak the Words

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Due to multiple options when speaking, text below may not be in comprehensive order.

You see an irritated young male dipping the broom into a bEL-DB.comucket of water. You can hear him cursing under his breath.

Who are you?
Whoa! Jeez, don't sneak up on a guy like that or you'll have one less DM in this school. I may be young, but this job will give anyone a heart attack. Oh what was your question again? Right.. um.. my name is Mario.

Everything ok?
Everything WOULD be ok if this school had their janitorial stuff concentrate on more than just sewer maintenance. *He pulls out a handkerchief and wipes his hands off.* That leaves me, a hardworking student with enough on his plate already, to clean up the vomit of another student who couldn't hold her own at the tavern. Pretty pathetic if you ask me.

I'm going to take a shot in the dark and guess you don't live here in the magic school. DM is the abbreviation for Dormitory Moderator. It's a job a student is hired to do and they receive free room and board, as well as some gold. We basically enforce the rules, patrol the school at night and keep the overall peace.

Like food and stuff. You may not know, but students do have to pay for their meals here. As a DM, I don't have to pay for my meals, which is very cost effective. Good thing too because Hyutan is a great chef. His pies are to die for.

Sewer maintenance
If you want to smell like ass for a week, visit them. Horrid place, students go there to duel each other because our combat room is basically owned by Raum. He's a very talented fighter, so no one dares challenge him. But back to what I was saying: The sewers run under the entire school and if there is a clog and something starts decaying then the school starts to smell.

We had a janitor named Piotr, but they made him a full-time sewer worker now. That leaves me to do the dirty jobs since I'm on the payroll, too. Trust me, vomit is the least of my worries sometimes.

How do I get there?
There are a few entrances. There's one through a drain in the kitchen and another one in the animal study room where they get rid of the wasEL-DB.comte. There's also one through Professor Donegal's laboratory where he dumps excess chemicals. Take your pick, just watch out for the goblins.

The good ole Sapphire Rose... that's the name of the tavern in town. After their studies are finished, most of the students head there to blow off some steam. Oh the times at the Sapphire Rose. *He appears to be reminiscing.* Someone always either ends up passed out or pregnant. It's always a blast. *He laughs.*

Any troublemakers?
*He pulls out a giant stack of papers.* You see this? Each sheet is an individual incident report that I had to write up. Whether it be someone writing 'GAY' in chalk on a hallway wall or a fight between students... I have to write something to turn into Professor Wylladam. I've noticed that Baidor is the target of many reports I write. Not because he caused trouble, but because he seems to attract trouble.

I know I've written up Jonna a few times for pranking Baidor as well as other students for pranking Baidor. Hell, I'd even prank Baidor if I could... the kid is kind of a douche if you ask me. Then Rosalyn always complains about the dorms being too noisy, so I have to drag my ass out of bed and write those students up. Ugh, this is pissing me off just thinking about it. I need a new job.

She's a pretty cute girl actually, but very studious. She took a job on as a student scribe which takes up a lot of her time. I've been thinking about asking her out but I'm afraid she'll say no due to lack of time... No reason to put yourself out there if you already know the answer. Maybe she'll notice one day how much I've helped her as the DM and she'll get I have feelings for her.

Professor Wylladam
She is probably one of the brightest and most cheerful professors here in the Tarsengaard Magic School. She teaches herbology which is what I'm specializing in. I love her teaching methods, too! But I have to write her reports because she is in charge of the in-school student living - so she's basically my boss. Luckily she cuts the DMs a lot of slack because she knows the pressure we have to face.

Teaching methods
Oh it's wonderful - a very hands-on experience. She often takes our class to the garden to study the various plants and their magical properties. She brings in a wide variety of lecturers to show different points of view in the field. I was most fascinated by George. To think that our own gardener was that interesting! Some other notable speakers were Violet, Alhana and Kronos.

I never knew a man could sense what trees were *FEELING.* That's amazing to me. I'd expect hiEL-DB.comm to be a professor rather than just a simple gardener, but he seems happy with what he does.

She's a rather... eccentric... priestess of Lucaa, but all her priests seem to be. George made it cool to talk to trees while Violet made it look crazy to talk to flowers. She still knew her stuff though and it interested some students in the church of Lucaa. Not my cup of tea though.

Ah yes, she covered the entrepreneurial side of herbology. She runs her own flower shop in Tirnwood that her family opened and have run ever since. She said with hard work and dedication and of course a love of flowers... anyone can run a successful business.

He runs a private business out of Crystal Caves, but that isn't what he came to talk about. Apparently he is in the market for rare and magical plants. I'm shocked Professor Wylladam was able to get him to come, he didn't seem to be the friendliest of fellows. We learned a lot about researching magical plants from him though. I think I even have an idea where some of his private growing locations are. *He smirks.*

See you around. Remember, if you have too much mead... stay the heck away from the student chambers so I don't have to clean it up!