The Unofficial Eternal Lands Database
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NPC: Piotr

Location: Tarsengaard TG Magic School Entrance Hall Meeting Hall East Meeting Hall Hallway Animal Study Room PK Sewers

Coordinates: 225, 62

Sewer maintenance worker and former dropout student of the magic school.


Speak the Words

Text may not be 100% complete. Most quest text is not included.
Due to multiple options when speaking, text below may not be in comprehensive order.

A man is surveying what appears to be a large quantity of brown matter behind the wooden EL-DB.combarrier. You notice the stench of the sewers seems to multiply as you approach this man.

*You try to greet the gentleman but gag instead. He notices the disturbance and turns around. You notice he is wearing a nose plug.* Pretty sick, ain't it? This is a load of crap if I have ever seen one.

Who are you?
My name's Piotr, pronounced like Peter but I think my parents were slightly drugged when they wrote my name down on my birth certificate. Anywho, I would shake your hand but it's covered in fecal matter right now, so I'll spare you the trip to the kitchen to wash your hands.

Load of crap
Well what do you think all the brown stuff is? Sure, it looks like rock but that's possibly one of the biggest shit piles I've seen in my life. I've heard people say that the mage in the school were full of crap, but I never took it as literal as this. *He sighs.*

Where can I get those plugs?
Heh, the smell getting to you, eh? Well, Aurora is the resident nurse in the school and she has a few in stock. I was going without a nose plug for a while, but I started to get uncontrollable nose bleeds after being down here too long. I figured it was time to get one.

Why are you here?
I've been asking myself the same question for the past few weeks. So, I was a student in the school and picked up a part time job as a janitor to help pay my expenses. I learned soon that magic was not my niche, so I decided to leave. Then Jerun asked me to remain here as the full-time janitor and offered me a buttload of gold.

Little did I know a buttload of gold meant I'd be forced to do a buttload of work - literally. I was fine just cleaning the school, but there have been some problems lately so I was 'upgraded' to a sewer maintenance worker. Lucky me.

There's a giant pile of shit in front of us and you want me to explain who he is? That's bullshit, you should go ask him yEL-DB.comourself. *He says, obviously irritated.* While you're there, tell him airing out the sewers would be GREATLY appreciated.

Clogs. We have no clue why and that's why I'm down here. I've had to fix minor clogs down here before but nothing this immense. I mean look at it! I need some piece of gnomish machinery to even think about moving this! That.. or a task force of 100 students. Hm.. maybe I can work out something with Professor Wylladam.

Work something out
Well, Professor Wylladam is in charge of the DMs and runs the school detentions too. Usually they just end up collecting herbs, organizing books or polishing weapons... maybe I can have them clean up THEIR mess. Shouldn't be a problem. After all, enough students come down here of their own free will.

Collecting herbs
Wylladam is the herbology professor so collecting herbs probably helps her with lectures. Hm, maybe I can have her plant some flowers down here to help fix the scent. I SMELL LIKE CRAP ALL THE TIME SINCE I'M DOWN HERE SO OFTEN. *He shouts.* Sorry, I'm just getting entirely too frustrated. *He glances at the pile of feces again and shakes his head.*

Organizing books
The school prides itself with its extensive library and collection of books. The school gets visitors from all over to use its resources and since people are idiots, they don't put things back properly. I know it drives Silvars insane, especially when he's been trying to work on his cockamamie 'book copier.' Sounds like a load of.. actually.. I'm not going to finish that sentence. *He peers are the pile.*

Polishing weapons
From what I hear, Professor G's lessons get pretty intense and he needs his weapons cleaned and in pristine condition to perform his lessons properly. If you ask me, that bloody dwarf is too picky. I don't think a polished sword is going to fight any differently.

Professor G?
That's what the students call him, Professor Gniles is his real name. Personally, I'd call him Professor N because the G is silent.. but whatever.

So you know the school pretty well?
Like the back of my hand. This is probably a good time to say be careful which path you take in the school. I know I ended up in a maze when I was looking for Professor Donegal's laboratory so I could EL-DB.comclean a potion spill. Luckily I know the trick of the maze but you might not be so lucky. I've even heard of times where Jerun had to travel to White Stone City to find a missing student. Stupid kids.

Who would come down here?
The sewers are part of the school but they aren't monitored by anyone so students will come down here to duel each other. Others feel like bashing in the skull of some of the goblins or rattle the bones of Skellie over there. I've even seen some stand in the one tube and range the rats and monsters from above. I guess to each his own, right?

No shit. I've had it up to here with this crap. *He places his hand over his head to demonstrate how irritated he was... notices the pile of dung was even larger... and sighs.* Just leave before you're recruited to clear this heap, too.